There have been a few people that wanted to meet me from myspace and they wondered which picture in my profile was mine. No big deal, I love meeting new people especially fellow artists.
I never cared to label my picture as "Me" because... I'm not sure why... although maybe it was because deep down inside I was afraid of being rejected.
With my writing especially I want people to grasps the content of who I am as a person through my mind and not to care what I look like.
When I informed my inquirers as to which I was, they most all mysteriously went away. Which is strange that they seemed to find me more interesting before they knew what I looked like or so it appeared. They were all men; Not to male bash but what am I to think?
I don't know why but I seem to scare people. I always have and perhaps always will. Perhaps scare is too strong of a word... I don't put people at ease and for some strange reason.
Looking at it this way does gives me a bit of solace..."these people probably did me a favor because if you're afraid from just my picture then be very afraid". Besides that I absolutely abhor cowards.
I'm tall, opinionated--I've been told sadly since I was a little girl that I was intimidating. Playing stupid and small so people would like me better and to put them more at ease didn't make me the successful, most well liked person that I thought that it would. It was at near detriment to myself esteem, so I stopped. Although I think it did make me a better actress, definitely I'm a stronger person because of it. I drive a muscle car and in addition to that I'm with the wonderful Mick Dixon anyway.
I'm a really cool person who's worth knowing but it still hurts. It's a slow burn of a hurt that really bugs me deep down inside.
Life is funny...
It has a way of ultimately bring us to the thing we are most trying to avoid.
It's that way for me, anyway.
Beauty is so much more than skin deep.
--Like the phoenix from the flame I shall rise again with a new skin.
