First Amendment Rights

I'd like to preface this by saying that I do not condone with what Dr. Laura said. But, do I think that she was being racist? No, not at all. Would Dr. Laura have been more sympathetic to the caller if she were more like the doctor and was complaining about her husband's friends and family making anti-semitic remarks? Maybe. Do I believe Dr. Laura is out out touch? Yes, very. Most people in her demographic are. (I'm happy that Larry King is retiring.) I thought that above all else she was rude and insensitive to the caller. She treated the caller as though what she was saying was completely without merit and that she [the caller] was just being overly sensitive.

The situation was really as simple as stepping in to someone else's shoes which it seemed that the doctor was unable to, didn't want to or maybe it just isn't her style to do. It seemed like from the transcripts of the show that Dr. Laura had some things of her own that she wanted to sound off about. Maybe one thing being that she didn't have a right to use a certain word because of the color of her skin. Language for good or bad does belong to us all and so does the responsibility in its use.

I do believe that she has a right to voice her opinion (to a certain extent) on her radio show but I feel for the caller. I feel for them both actually.

I have been labeled as being racially overly sensitive myself when I have in the past only merely stated facts. If you did it, said it--own it, (is all I was saying.) The facts are the facts and they don't change. Over sensitive seems to be the go to phrase that people use when they are trying to blame the victim thereby escaping accountability, social and otherwise.

I have been made to feel as though I have no rights to an opinion even on my own blog that I thought no one read. Yes, I have used bad words as a form of self expression. Yes, my blog started out as a way to make fun of people (mainly celebrities) for profit. It didn't remain that way because making fun of people is hard work for me because I'm not naturally a mean person and moreover it just felt wrong. Other people do it and say far worse than I could ever imagine but nothing I ever wrote was to be taken as literally as it has been made out to be. ( I'll take that as a lesson learned and guess what? I own it). "Move over, Over- Sensitive and say hello to Brave."

No, it's just unlike others I "don't hang my shit on other people". ( Madonna's words-- not mine.) My personality is multifaceted and I'm not hard; I have a heart ( a big compassionate one) but this is where I greatly differ from others that I have been compared to. I have never put a loaded, color coded, group identifying adjective in front of any of the dirty words that I have written or spoken there by disapasparaging anyone because of their race, creed or religion. To do that is wrong and down right low. Besides every bad deed must be atoned for somewhere-- "Help! Someone all the karma police!" It also has an air of illegality to it ( especially in print) that also makes me want to stay away from any base urges that creep up along side of me while sometimes going out on a limb to prove a point and or to win an argument. I'm also not one to trample on someone else's Civil Rights.

One would think that I'm one of the good guys in the blogosphere realm so to speak because at least I'm conscientious. I never dropped the N word once let alone eleven times on a radio show or in the office for that matter but yet even I am made to feel that I don't have a right to an opinion maybe because I'm a woman and when people see me they have their own image and ideas of what I'm supposed to be based on what I look like. Although they have no idea of who I am, where I come from or what's in my heart.

It's sad that no one sees Dr. Laura's point, although it's difficult and there is a lot to get around (that pesky use of one word that quite honestly no one, no matter what color they are should or want to use. Yes, rappers and comedians I'm talking to you too.) She did have one.

Image via vegasrex.com

An Ultimate Destination

Sunday August 8, 2010

Every relationship we have prior to meeting our soul mate is merely a step on the path to our ultimate destination. No relationship, even if it ends up in divorce, is a mistake. Every relationship serves a profound purpose by taking us closer to our true soul mate.

The trick is, are we taking the opportunity to transform our nature by learning from our mistakes? If we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’ll wind up in another relationship that will merely be a repeat of those lessons that came before. Only the names and faces will be different.

Today, think about one thing you messed up royally in a previous relationship. How can you do things different now?

Yehuda Berg (Daily Kabbalah Tune Up)

An Uncompromised Life

I can't even pretend to be an eloquent person especially in the morning. My actual thoughts don't start to form solidly until around two in the afternoon. In this case I will make an attempt no matter how feeble to speak about someone that I a mere mortal such as I can hardly begin to fathom; That super nova being English magazine editor and international style icon Isabella Blow.

I admit that there was a time not long before now that I didn't really know that much about her other than from seeing pictures of her in some fabulous hat here and there or getting some bit of news about her from the Daily Mail or style.com about what she wore to some event or what fashion phenom was her latest discovery. However, the news about her death was hard to ignore. The reports about how she died and the tributes paid to her after her passing have left an indelible mark on my soul and will stay with me, I'm sure for the rest of my life. It's hard for me to understand why someone so brave, brilliant, gifted, known and loved could take her life so tragically because she was everything that I wish, I could be and she seemed to have everything that I thought I ever wanted.

There are several stories circulating about why she may have done it--The top two being that she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer the other being that she was depressed but both seem to be somehow intertwined. Well who really knows for sure other than her family, close friends and Ms. Blow herself. Besides when it comes down to it; It really is a private matter.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a beautiful picture of Isabella Blow taken by the incomparable Steven Meisel on a popular fashion blog where her haircut was being compared in a side by side to that of Jim Carry's character in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Yes, it was meant to be funny and I'm sure was thought of at the time from the Blog Master's perspective as harmless. I saw the point that was being made and I'm sure it was[funny] to more than a few but not to me.

It isn't my place to judge what others say or do on their blogs especially when theirs are way more popular than mine. (Hello audience of one-- With the sole reader being myself! ) But I do think that we as human beings should have more reverence for the dead especially when a life ends as tragically and as beautifully as Isabella Blow's did. Its sad to think that upon dying she may have worried than she "hadn't taken enough poison."

Peeps Show 2010

Yes, yes, yes, I've seen them before. I've just never seen them wearing trench coats and doing poses. I tend to stay away from the Easter candy. It kinda creeps me out.

I guess, I never got over the time when I got this chocolate rabbit and I of course felt very rebellious; just to think a Jew eating a chocolate Easter rabbit all wrapped in the shiny colorful foil. Ooo, and he was wearing a lavender and pink suit with teal detailing!

Being a sucker for the fashion and the shiny, I of course peeled away his foil suit-- Oh, so carefully. I wanted to keep it and press it-out. I thought that I would keep it forever. Yes, I had plans for the rabbit and his suit.
To make a long story short I went to bite into his ear-- The damn thing was hollow and crumbled like a freakin' deck of cards.

I expected him to be like I thought moreover assumed that they all were "Solid". I mean why bother if they weren't right? I threw the rabbit and his suit away. I felt like such a dirty whore and I never told my mother becuase she would have said that the rabbit was off limits in the first place.

Ever since then Easter candy has given me the creeps and I stay away from the stuff.

Now I have a renewed interest and its nice to know that they (the peeps) have a name :-)

Thanks G!

There's a reasonable explanation for all my neuroses,

M.M.

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

Where's The Funny?

Okay, in an odd twist of irony... My work bully, the one that I have endured years of cynical, racist, disparaging remarks from, the one that openly laughed at my productorial aspirations, the one that told me that I was "never gonna achieve" for one reason or another ( yes, she gave me reasons, albeit stupid reasons), the one that not only said horrible things about me and my loved ones behind my back but to my face, the one whose side everyone chose over mine, the one that I dreamed of punching in the mouth one day, the one that worked the titty bar circuit on the Alaskan Pipeline, the fifty year old, the one that wears braces but who is still orthadontically challenged, the blonde one, the former trailer park dweller, the one that I would dare not call my nemesis because that would be to much like saying that she was my equal is working at the new company too.

G-d has a sense of humor but I'm not laughing yet.

Something New

You know… I've never been one of these people that have this be like a duck and let it slide attitude. When I moved to L.A. I tried to be this person that I clearly wasn’t.

I don't know what it was that inspired this change in me. Maybe, it was that my old approach didn't seem to be garnering the results that I wanted them to. Honestly, I wanted to be loved and loved so much so that I became this person that I thought I needed to be in order to get what I thought that I wanted.

I was wrong but I think, it’s kind of brave to try a new way of not only doing things but of actually existing; Where your mental stability hangs in the balance.

Thankfully, I made it through--Though not unscathed--but changed.

Let it never be said that I was afraid to try new things.

Grace

Grace is the receipt of a positive benefit that one does not necessarily deserves to receive--This time speaking in terms of my friendship but I always think...Who am I to really to deny anyone. Relating to people even ones that are difficult is an opportunity to grow.

I thought you were gone forever from my life when you moved away and started a family. I was happy that you found happiness with a person that you could share your life with. I thought that we’d lost touch and it was something that I gladly excepted because agreeing with you all of the time was really a lot of work or at least our friendship was more work for me than it was really worth because I often felt as though there was no reciprocal benefit for me. Especially after the bizarre text that you sent chastisingly informing me that I should remember the meaning of Christmas Day after I had sent you an e- holiday greeting with Jesus (pronounced Heh-soo, from The Big Labowski, ) dressed in a purple leisure suit and I take it that you thought that I was making fun of Jesus which was never my intent.

It was actually more insensitive of you to send me that text bearing in mind that I’m Jewish ( Christmas was and is a day that we have always ordered Chinese food ). Although, Jesus is inspiring, he is the hero of many and he never did anything to me--I have no plans on ever switching sides by converting, perhaps that makes you uneasy but then you found me again on Facebook.

I let you in and now I'm stifled again. I can no longer express myself in the carefree comforts of my own home page as I once had with out some angry judgmental rant of yours.

I've humbly walked myself back countless times and I'm obliged to think that I could be wrong (which is just my way) and I'm often the first to admit when and if I'm wrong. I would much rather be the one hurt then to know that I hurt another person.

Friendship cuts both ways you know and If I can except you
for all of your stupid, small, nonsensical opinions and not judge you so why can't you do the same when my opinions aren't half as idiotic as most of yours.

If Jesus is really your hero, at least walk the talk that you preach by being a good Christian because I refuse to play small anymore so that you can feel better about yourselves.

Like Attracts Like

Karl Lagerfeld once said that one shouldn't look to others for approval of ones own mental stability.... And to that I say, Bravo!
To truly march to the beat of your own drum is always easier said than done.

You know...I must say that I was a little surprised when you took that idiot's side over mine, today. I don't know why I was so surprised because actually when I think about it, really think about it--You were always one for controversy which, is why David never liked you in the first place. Besides, you were also one to forget who your friends were but I never would have imagined that you would forget me so quickly because I counted you as one of my longest known and closest friend.

It all happened so fast and it seemed to come out no where. It's okay. It really is.

But, if I can tell you anything from my many years of experience of being around shady, toxic people in L.A.

--Always make sure that you pick the winning side i.e make sure that you have all the information because once the bets are in there's no turning back, not in Vegas and not with me.

Though, I'll continue to sincerely wish you always the best of luck in all your endeavors and from what I saw today; You're going to need it.

FYI...She's mentally unstable and needs medication but of course she doesn't believe that because she's marching to the beat of her own band.

Just My Opinion

To CNN Campbell Brown No Bias, No Bull:

I don't think that Whoopi Goldberg or anyone else has the right to speak about or explain President Obama's views and how he thinks just because they're black and he also happens to be. Whoopi is not a spokesperson for black culture and she as well as others should speak for themselves and preface that in their interviews.

If you look at President Obama's background his experiences are unique to him. A lot of people no matter their race have not shared his experience. I really don't understand what you were fishing for Campbell. It's like if someone asked Candy Crowley to explain why Sarah Palin comes off as a rambling idiot hunter and you [Campbell] don't. You're both white women, right?

Yes, he's black (actually bi-racial) but he's also a very intelligent unique human being and no, we (ethnics) are not all the same and don't speak with one voice. Maybe, Soledad O’Brian can do a show about that.

I love CNN but I hate that you guys always bring race into it.


A comment I sent to CNN about the Tuesday August 4, 2009 show that obviously rubbed me the wrong way when Campbell Brown asked Whoopi Goldberg during an interview if President Obama needed to do things differently because he was black. Campbell Brown went on to ask if Whoopi if the President viewed the world differnetly because he was black.

Mugler On The Mind In Three Parts

THIERRY MUGLER COUTURE PRINTEMPS-ÉTÉ 1997

Many thanks, muglerman

Independent Thinking

To CNN

Re: Black In America Program

I'd like to thank you for helping to once again solidify black stereotypes and dividing our nation. What it really means to be black in America is simply to be an individual and to be accepted as such. It's what I want and honestly, every time I hear the commercial for your program I cringe because you are giving others or have given others the power to speak for me.

Isn't that what freedom is all about: to have the ability to speak for yourself --At bare minimum? I think that enough Americans, black and white (to name only two), have died for me to have those rights and you take my voice away by asking a few celebrities and others to speak out, like we have all had the same experiences.

My experience is hardly the same as Vanessa Williams’ or Spike Lee’s yet, I too am an artist. Both are more successful than most, they’ve gotten the opportunity to express their art, gotten paid for it and yet they are still angry. Could it be a more personal, more human impetus that drives Mr. Lee’s anger and not the disparity and marginalization of black people?


Being a better human being is something we should "all" strive for not just being a better black man or woman, which seems to me, a bit basic and outdated at best.

The question, you really should have asked is what does being black in America mean to you?

Next time do a show on what it means to be American and include everyone.

Adeiu Yves

Stormy Weather

When it rains I often ask myself --Why am I in this ugly, dirty, racist town?
If not for my career which is nonexistant at the moment then for what I ask?
Another failed dream.

Photo By: Phil Dev

Bad Managers

After the double dirty look you gave me today that made me cry and after the biting rebut that followed when I asked if I had done something wrong, but the coup d'état was when I asked you for a word and you said in your vicious queeny way that "you didn't have time".

Consider what ever it was that I did as paid in full.

Perfectionista

After a very hard day at work today were I almost quit ( actually I think I did quit but my resignation wasn't excepted) I sat down to check my email and to catch up on the day's news. I came across this article in the New York Times and it got me to thinking about some of my tenets and how they effect me and the people around me. I've been called a tough cookie, a ball buster and a real BITCH. To the latter, I'm flattered because it's not like I put forth the effort. It just comes naturally for me and I think being a good bitch has more to do with perspective.

Isn't that just precious. I'm unassuming.

Truthfully, I'm more of a MotherF*^@#r when I put my mind to it but usually I keep my hat on, so to speak.

I admit that if I expected from others half of what I expected of myself, I would be more depressed than I am now or I would be waiting forever and it would just be done wrong anyway--So why even bother.

Perhaps, I'm not depressed but just disgruntled.

Hence without further ado and in no particular order...


I believe that one can never be too rich or too thin.

I believe that a woman should be called Miss or Madame never ma-am not unless being rude is your intention or you're in the south.

I believe that most ( and I say most only to be kind) Hip Hop in not real music and that it is just mumbled noise that has made an ugly blemish on society by glamorizing thug life, promoting the ill treatment of women ands disregards education. It has definitely made my life an ugly hell of sorts.

I believe that one should always strive to do the right thing not only by yourself but by others as well.

I believe in standing up for what you believe in.

I believe that some things should be kept to oneself.

I believe that social mores were "all but destroyed when casual friday was introduced to the work place."

I believe that you should always follow your dreams.

I believe in personal responsibility.

I believe in the American dream.

I believe that giving up is not an option: For me anyway.

I believe that you can never judge a book by its cover--Literally or metaphorically.

I believe that models should be really skinny.

I believe in treating people as you wish to be treated.

I believe that everyone is fallible.

I believe in fidelity or at least in trying.

I believe in equality or at least a level playing feild.

I believe that one day there will be a world without racism, hatred and bigotry.

Yes, I do believe in miracles and in G-d.

Happy Hanukkah.

Lady's Choice

Si j'ai eu le choix j'aurais choisi un notre.

I make everyone around us think that you're the best thing since sliced bread. I admit that I'm selfish and it's for my sake that I do this and not yours.

You disappoint and embarrass me because your drinking and drugging has become way too much to bear. Moreover, it’s really an ugly thing to watch. Your eyes no longer dance and your skin looks dull.

I've attempted to be a good friend to you and it seems as if I've failed once again. Perhaps you listened too closely when I said that you were brilliantly fabulous and you missed the other more important bits that followed the but.

Well... At least I've tried to be a good friend, which is more than I can say for...

No, I won't argue about who's been the better friend to whom.

I guess...I just want to say...

What I'm trying to say is...

"I'm sorry, I'm in your way."

If only I had a better selection to choose from...

Oh, but I still love you... for now, anyway.

Rose Colored Glasses

My rose colored glasses were smashed by a very tall fat jewish man at the Four Seasons Los Angeles while I was enjoying cocktails at the bar with a friend. He was nearly as wide as he was tall and somehow connected to the entertainment business.

My second pair... Because I always carried a spare have been scratched during the years beyond repair.

All that time in Marrakech, Paris, Chicago, New York and they lasted--Although I did come close to loosing them in Chicago after a deluge of sorts.

They just don't make things the way they used to.

L.A. can really be tough on the eyes and the soul for that matter.

I miss my glasses from time to time but I guess for now, my oversized Lavin wayfarers will just have to do.

Besides I'm a grown up now and the Lanvin may be a bit more becoming.

The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

94 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

I deleted a number from my Judith Leiberman like Sidekick today while perusing the aisles at Ralph’s on 3rd and Labrea. It was the number of a friend that had been thoughtfully disgarded. I’m on the fence as to the length of the deletion or its permanence only because I'm attempting to be an adult about the situation.

I made the startling realization that this woman and myself were at two totally different ends of the spectrum in our beliefs and morals as well as our ability or inability to understand one another.

Far be it for me to say or think for that matter that I am the more empathetic one amongst us but --Yes The Big But... But I realized that with this woman I am always wrong.

Is it really possible for one person to be wrong 100% of the time?

"She" (my friend of sorts) doesn’t actually come out exactly and tell me that I'm wrong but she can never seems to agree with me or understand my point of view no matter how I put it. Therefore if I’m upset about something and I happen to share it with her as friends often share experiences, I’m always the one that needs to “get over it”, “ forget about it” or should just "Be Happy”.

I have tried to understand why people act and say some of the things they do. I have tried to become less reactive which is still a work in progress. I'm not saying that this makes me a better person but I do try earnestly and purposefully to make a full-hearted attempt at being a good person. Not that understanding makes me a good person but I treat people as I wish to be treated besides that I am compulsively drawn to doing the right thing.

Often times than not, I fail by missing the mark completely or the mistake that I seem to make all too often is that I expect that my efforts should mean something to people. And I’m naturally hurt when they don’t. But at least I try to understand and I'm the first to admit when I’m limited.

I'm also trying to understand that her point of view may be coming from her own limitations and unwillingness to face certain truths of reality.

"She" has a very subtle way of taking this moral high ground place of superiority were she sits passing judgment on the fallible ones like myself seemingly because she watches Oprah, does yoga, drives a hybrid mini-van, recycles and has a toddler in private school. Or maybe it's just because she goes to church on Sundays.

I don’t peddle my Scientology/Jesus, just Love/Ignore and everything is right in the world diatribe. Well, perhaps that would be because I’m jewish and I tend to say what’s on my mind although not so much these days. Or maybe even, it’s just not my way.

However, I never judged her when she had a child out of wedlock let alone two. Despite the very strong opinions that I have I never once told her that I agreed with her mother. Although for her sake, I'm happy it all appears to have worked out.

At least I care enough to make an attempt at understanding. Which is more than I can say from someone that I thought was my friend.

Still, somewhere in my heart after our conversation today, I felt that she might have had a point.
Then again, I do try too hard... Sometimes.



The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

A Day With Roxxie

Roxxanna reminds me of a little bear

Funny... I usually like bears

Le Chat

Il y a une fois un chat qui me suis

et il aime quand je lui dis oui

Mais ça me fait mal parce ce que

quand je lui dis oui, il fait le pipi

Ah...la tristesse que je sens tout le temps.

Alors! Je lui dis si!

J'ai découvert qu'il est un chat espagnol.

GI/CC