My Darling, Tom Ford gets the top honor because I'm still pissed off about last month's Vanity Fair cover. Funny I'm not the only one in Hollywood who hated it, he'd better watch his back.
Jennifer Lopez get her award because she looked great and was fine until she opened her mouth. I think they have classes for that awful elocution problem of hers.
When I heard that Kate Capshaw had put on her jeans before leaving the Governor's Ball I thought that was wonderful. How daring, right? I thought maybe they would be a pair of sexy Sevens or some Rock & Republics. She shows up wearing these! They're awful why stay in the Louboutins? Why not put on your dirty New Balance gym shoes while you where at it. They would certainly make your outfit complete.
Sam Jackson because he drinks iced tea in the winter and favors wearing velvet suits with turtle necks. He's so country and for an Ex- Crack Head Done Good, he has a nasty little attitude, usually indicative of someone who's had it too good for too long. Learn a different character. Let's Not Play It Again, Sam.
Gayle King because she is too tone on tone. Her hair color doesn't work for her and who in the hell wears boas!
Heath Ledger because he's just plain gross. Just to think of his offspring makes me noxious.
Amber Valletta's school marme look with the big black Minnie Mouse shoes in not as operational as she thinks, judging by her proud yet dim-witted pose. She looks like she woke up hitting the bottle and took a hit of something else, AKA a hit of false confidence in powder form, while she was at it. The look somehow worked in Italian Vogue but it's not working on you, Amber.
Carl Gugino faker fur gave me the creeps. I thought it was going to take a bite out of me. She should have left that peice of shit at home. She looked better without it.
This one hurt...I like Garcelle Beauvais but for shame. She knows better and she usually looks good. Now, this is a beautiful woman "People" not Halle Berry. This dress was vulgar on Garcelle. It was too thight and pulling in some places. Perhaps she should have gotten it in a bigger size. Her purse was this oversized pearl white satin puff pouch, it was obvious that she was trying to match the purse to the buttons but she missed not only the mark but every point in between. She finished this atrocity with gold foiled thong sling backs. What The F#@^%...
Terry Hatcher workin' The Stick, The Witch and the Minnie Mouse shoes.
Gina Gershon, again another faker fur that should have been left at home. What's the point in wearing a fake fur "Ladies"? If you're against it don't wear it. If you can't afford one, buy vintage.
John Leguizamo the other Rat Man. I can't figure out who looks more rodent like him or Marc Anthony.
Julie Delphy because she's French, annoying, thinks she's so freakin' hot and her cheap shoes bugged me besides the white bandage she had wrapped around one of her toes. You know Julie, they have transparent bandages now. Next time get your corns in order at least a week prior to the event you will be attending. Oh and Americans are stupid and French women are beautiful and dress well. Yeah right!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Harvey Weinstein
Keira Knightley, every time is she her I want to slap her in the back to make her stand up straight.
Kristen Davis really should have popped some hot rollers in after having rolled out of bed.
Eve looked gorgeous but those tat paws don't work. Cover them up, get them removed or wear another dress.
A New World's Q'Orianka Kilcher is barely 16 and already she's shown me the true meaning of an Ugly Ass Dress! She looks like...how can I explain... If Patron Silver came in the form of a pill and you took too many, this dress is what you would see chasing you.
Lindsay Lohan because she blew this stupid kiss and her nips were rock hard. Did something excite you, you Paparazzi Whore!
Quentin Tarantino because he's got big child bearing hips and he's looks like he's been shopping at Chicos.
Lauren Hutton (as I'm shaking my head), I was happy to see that she had gotten rid of the stupid brown driving gloves. She did have on a pair of YSL pumps that she traded in for these dumb blue hand woven moccasins. Although, she still looks like she's waiting for a horse.
Clue phone's for you Lauren... You're not a Peruvian Indian sheep herder attending a relative's wedding! This ain't Brokeback Mountain. It's Hollywood!
Sienna Miller because remember Q'Orianka Kilcher's Dress, well this is the path of destruction left by the Patron episode. Although this could have been cute if it was cut super short. Someone's trying to work the Factory Girl look and is still not getting it right. Finding the true essence of Edie has become a way of life for you and she's alluded you once more... how sad... Get your own damned style and stop trying to rip off the dead!
Zooey Deschanel because she has annoyed me all week and her dress is stupid not to mention ugly. Thank G-d she didn't where those Prada patent leather wedgies again.
Kimora Lee Simmons, The Albatross Around The Neck Of Society was a little out of her element last night. You know for someone who has supposedly so many diamonds hers looked a little plastic and cloudy. Where are your minions of maids now bitch!
Joan Collins, someone Please, 911 the Wig Master we've got a DOA.
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