Yesterday night I bore witness to a nasty and unsettling event at a restaurant were a food-server was verbally abused and shoved by a very ugly and very skinny woman with big bulging eyes, stringy dark hair, bad pale leather skin and dingy teeth with a horrible underbite. The woman wore a cheap strapless flower print dress, with gold plastic strappy shoes and had a bad fake tit job that coincidentally was like her bad fake Chanel purse in quality which may have been a great part of her rageful angst.
This Bone Of A Dog really thought she was soooooo sexy, hot and good-looking or perhaps she was just pretending. Her father probably told her that she was the best thing since sliced bread all of her life but sadly no one else ever did nor will because "Fabulous Is As Fabulous Does And Always Will" as "The fashion Rabbi" says. Tragically, It was latter reveled that the Jerky Tartlet had an eating disorder.
"Ladies" I can't stress this enough... but before I get to it, I want to let you know that I do feel greatly for those of you with this problem... I really do but... what you chose to tickle with your finger wether it be your twat or the back of your throat is really your own private affair and really should be kept in the bedroom, bathroom or psychiatrist's office.
It shouldn't be brought to the restaurant on Friday night albeit even if it is for a family function.
"Ladies" and if your dirty little secret is known by the rest of your family, "Change Your MO".
It's really sad when your mother has to announce to everyone at the table and to the entire restaurant what your mental state of being is because she is trying to save face from your embarrassing tirade that you seem to do every time you have to eat in public about the server being stupid and not getting your order right and giving you bad service.
"Skinny Rabbit" if you change your order an average of 7 times and only 3 courses are being served, 2 of the 3 courses are a choice of 2 items, neither of which you want, something is bound to come out wrong.
Do the math because "Tricks Really Are For Kids".
You Don't Want To Eat So You Blame The Person Serving You The Food.
What happened to the good ole' days were if you had to eat in public you'd take a whole sheet of ex-lax and afterwards you'd let'er rip?
Eating disorders are so passe I had a few back-in the 90's myself before they became so dunno... LaLohan.
...And if you're nearly 50 as Bone-A -Linga looked shouldn't you be past that anyway?
I have nothing against 50 year-olds.
Pills are in now. CLUE PHONE for Bone-A-Whatsgonewrongnow... Take one!
I'll part leaving you with this word quandary... if Bone-A-Linga's a Stupid Bitch then what would you call a late 40-something, wire mouth piece of... ( I'm watching my mouth Rabbi )...who makes sweeping statements about ... well... let just say all G-d's creatures ?
Okay a little more info...Bumpkin's favorite pastime is watching the Tele.
Aaaaaaahhhhh, the power of words.
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