Something New

You know… I've never been one of these people that have this be like a duck and let it slide attitude. When I moved to L.A. I tried to be this person that I clearly wasn’t.

I don't know what it was that inspired this change in me. Maybe, it was that my old approach didn't seem to be garnering the results that I wanted them to. Honestly, I wanted to be loved and loved so much so that I became this person that I thought I needed to be in order to get what I thought that I wanted.

I was wrong but I think, it’s kind of brave to try a new way of not only doing things but of actually existing; Where your mental stability hangs in the balance.

Thankfully, I made it through--Though not unscathed--but changed.

Let it never be said that I was afraid to try new things.

Grace

Grace is the receipt of a positive benefit that one does not necessarily deserves to receive--This time speaking in terms of my friendship but I always think...Who am I to really to deny anyone. Relating to people even ones that are difficult is an opportunity to grow.

I thought you were gone forever from my life when you moved away and started a family. I was happy that you found happiness with a person that you could share your life with. I thought that we’d lost touch and it was something that I gladly excepted because agreeing with you all of the time was really a lot of work or at least our friendship was more work for me than it was really worth because I often felt as though there was no reciprocal benefit for me. Especially after the bizarre text that you sent chastisingly informing me that I should remember the meaning of Christmas Day after I had sent you an e- holiday greeting with Jesus (pronounced Heh-soo, from The Big Labowski, ) dressed in a purple leisure suit and I take it that you thought that I was making fun of Jesus which was never my intent.

It was actually more insensitive of you to send me that text bearing in mind that I’m Jewish ( Christmas was and is a day that we have always ordered Chinese food ). Although, Jesus is inspiring, he is the hero of many and he never did anything to me--I have no plans on ever switching sides by converting, perhaps that makes you uneasy but then you found me again on Facebook.

I let you in and now I'm stifled again. I can no longer express myself in the carefree comforts of my own home page as I once had with out some angry judgmental rant of yours.

I've humbly walked myself back countless times and I'm obliged to think that I could be wrong (which is just my way) and I'm often the first to admit when and if I'm wrong. I would much rather be the one hurt then to know that I hurt another person.

Friendship cuts both ways you know and If I can except you
for all of your stupid, small, nonsensical opinions and not judge you so why can't you do the same when my opinions aren't half as idiotic as most of yours.

If Jesus is really your hero, at least walk the talk that you preach by being a good Christian because I refuse to play small anymore so that you can feel better about yourselves.

Like Attracts Like

Karl Lagerfeld once said that one shouldn't look to others for approval of ones own mental stability.... And to that I say, Bravo!
To truly march to the beat of your own drum is always easier said than done.

You know...I must say that I was a little surprised when you took that idiot's side over mine, today. I don't know why I was so surprised because actually when I think about it, really think about it--You were always one for controversy which, is why David never liked you in the first place. Besides, you were also one to forget who your friends were but I never would have imagined that you would forget me so quickly because I counted you as one of my longest known and closest friend.

It all happened so fast and it seemed to come out no where. It's okay. It really is.

But, if I can tell you anything from my many years of experience of being around shady, toxic people in L.A.

--Always make sure that you pick the winning side i.e make sure that you have all the information because once the bets are in there's no turning back, not in Vegas and not with me.

Though, I'll continue to sincerely wish you always the best of luck in all your endeavors and from what I saw today; You're going to need it.

FYI...She's mentally unstable and needs medication but of course she doesn't believe that because she's marching to the beat of her own band.

Just My Opinion

To CNN Campbell Brown No Bias, No Bull:

I don't think that Whoopi Goldberg or anyone else has the right to speak about or explain President Obama's views and how he thinks just because they're black and he also happens to be. Whoopi is not a spokesperson for black culture and she as well as others should speak for themselves and preface that in their interviews.

If you look at President Obama's background his experiences are unique to him. A lot of people no matter their race have not shared his experience. I really don't understand what you were fishing for Campbell. It's like if someone asked Candy Crowley to explain why Sarah Palin comes off as a rambling idiot hunter and you [Campbell] don't. You're both white women, right?

Yes, he's black (actually bi-racial) but he's also a very intelligent unique human being and no, we (ethnics) are not all the same and don't speak with one voice. Maybe, Soledad O’Brian can do a show about that.

I love CNN but I hate that you guys always bring race into it.


A comment I sent to CNN about the Tuesday August 4, 2009 show that obviously rubbed me the wrong way when Campbell Brown asked Whoopi Goldberg during an interview if President Obama needed to do things differently because he was black. Campbell Brown went on to ask if Whoopi if the President viewed the world differnetly because he was black.

Mugler On The Mind In Three Parts

THIERRY MUGLER COUTURE PRINTEMPS-ÉTÉ 1997

Many thanks, muglerman

Independent Thinking

To CNN

Re: Black In America Program

I'd like to thank you for helping to once again solidify black stereotypes and dividing our nation. What it really means to be black in America is simply to be an individual and to be accepted as such. It's what I want and honestly, every time I hear the commercial for your program I cringe because you are giving others or have given others the power to speak for me.

Isn't that what freedom is all about: to have the ability to speak for yourself --At bare minimum? I think that enough Americans, black and white (to name only two), have died for me to have those rights and you take my voice away by asking a few celebrities and others to speak out, like we have all had the same experiences.

My experience is hardly the same as Vanessa Williams’ or Spike Lee’s yet, I too am an artist. Both are more successful than most, they’ve gotten the opportunity to express their art, gotten paid for it and yet they are still angry. Could it be a more personal, more human impetus that drives Mr. Lee’s anger and not the disparity and marginalization of black people?


Being a better human being is something we should "all" strive for not just being a better black man or woman, which seems to me, a bit basic and outdated at best.

The question, you really should have asked is what does being black in America mean to you?

Next time do a show on what it means to be American and include everyone.

Adeiu Yves

Stormy Weather

When it rains I often ask myself --Why am I in this ugly, dirty, racist town?
If not for my career which is nonexistant at the moment then for what I ask?
Another failed dream.

Photo By: Phil Dev

Bad Managers

After the double dirty look you gave me today that made me cry and after the biting rebut that followed when I asked if I had done something wrong, but the coup d'état was when I asked you for a word and you said in your vicious queeny way that "you didn't have time".

Consider what ever it was that I did as paid in full.

Perfectionista

After a very hard day at work today were I almost quit ( actually I think I did quit but my resignation wasn't excepted) I sat down to check my email and to catch up on the day's news. I came across this article in the New York Times and it got me to thinking about some of my tenets and how they effect me and the people around me. I've been called a tough cookie, a ball buster and a real BITCH. To the latter, I'm flattered because it's not like I put forth the effort. It just comes naturally for me and I think being a good bitch has more to do with perspective.

Isn't that just precious. I'm unassuming.

Truthfully, I'm more of a MotherF*^@#r when I put my mind to it but usually I keep my hat on, so to speak.

I admit that if I expected from others half of what I expected of myself, I would be more depressed than I am now or I would be waiting forever and it would just be done wrong anyway--So why even bother.

Perhaps, I'm not depressed but just disgruntled.

Hence without further ado and in no particular order...


I believe that one can never be too rich or too thin.

I believe that a woman should be called Miss or Madame never ma-am not unless being rude is your intention or you're in the south.

I believe that most ( and I say most only to be kind) Hip Hop in not real music and that it is just mumbled noise that has made an ugly blemish on society by glamorizing thug life, promoting the ill treatment of women ands disregards education. It has definitely made my life an ugly hell of sorts.

I believe that one should always strive to do the right thing not only by yourself but by others as well.

I believe in standing up for what you believe in.

I believe that some things should be kept to oneself.

I believe that social mores were "all but destroyed when casual friday was introduced to the work place."

I believe that you should always follow your dreams.

I believe in personal responsibility.

I believe in the American dream.

I believe that giving up is not an option: For me anyway.

I believe that you can never judge a book by its cover--Literally or metaphorically.

I believe that models should be really skinny.

I believe in treating people as you wish to be treated.

I believe that everyone is fallible.

I believe in fidelity or at least in trying.

I believe in equality or at least a level playing feild.

I believe that one day there will be a world without racism, hatred and bigotry.

Yes, I do believe in miracles and in G-d.

Happy Hanukkah.

Lady's Choice

Si j'ai eu le choix j'aurais choisi un notre.

I make everyone around us think that you're the best thing since sliced bread. I admit that I'm selfish and it's for my sake that I do this and not yours.

You disappoint and embarrass me because your drinking and drugging has become way too much to bear. Moreover, it’s really an ugly thing to watch. Your eyes no longer dance and your skin looks dull.

I've attempted to be a good friend to you and it seems as if I've failed once again. Perhaps you listened too closely when I said that you were brilliantly fabulous and you missed the other more important bits that followed the but.

Well... At least I've tried to be a good friend, which is more than I can say for...

No, I won't argue about who's been the better friend to whom.

I guess...I just want to say...

What I'm trying to say is...

"I'm sorry, I'm in your way."

If only I had a better selection to choose from...

Oh, but I still love you... for now, anyway.

Rose Colored Glasses

My rose colored glasses were smashed by a very tall fat jewish man at the Four Seasons Los Angeles while I was enjoying cocktails at the bar with a friend. He was nearly as wide as he was tall and somehow connected to the entertainment business.

My second pair... Because I always carried a spare have been scratched during the years beyond repair.

All that time in Marrakech, Paris, Chicago, New York and they lasted--Although I did come close to loosing them in Chicago after a deluge of sorts.

They just don't make things the way they used to.

L.A. can really be tough on the eyes and the soul for that matter.

I miss my glasses from time to time but I guess for now, my oversized Lavin wayfarers will just have to do.

Besides I'm a grown up now and the Lanvin may be a bit more becoming.

The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

94 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

I deleted a number from my Judith Leiberman like Sidekick today while perusing the aisles at Ralph’s on 3rd and Labrea. It was the number of a friend that had been thoughtfully disgarded. I’m on the fence as to the length of the deletion or its permanence only because I'm attempting to be an adult about the situation.

I made the startling realization that this woman and myself were at two totally different ends of the spectrum in our beliefs and morals as well as our ability or inability to understand one another.

Far be it for me to say or think for that matter that I am the more empathetic one amongst us but --Yes The Big But... But I realized that with this woman I am always wrong.

Is it really possible for one person to be wrong 100% of the time?

"She" (my friend of sorts) doesn’t actually come out exactly and tell me that I'm wrong but she can never seems to agree with me or understand my point of view no matter how I put it. Therefore if I’m upset about something and I happen to share it with her as friends often share experiences, I’m always the one that needs to “get over it”, “ forget about it” or should just "Be Happy”.

I have tried to understand why people act and say some of the things they do. I have tried to become less reactive which is still a work in progress. I'm not saying that this makes me a better person but I do try earnestly and purposefully to make a full-hearted attempt at being a good person. Not that understanding makes me a good person but I treat people as I wish to be treated besides that I am compulsively drawn to doing the right thing.

Often times than not, I fail by missing the mark completely or the mistake that I seem to make all too often is that I expect that my efforts should mean something to people. And I’m naturally hurt when they don’t. But at least I try to understand and I'm the first to admit when I’m limited.

I'm also trying to understand that her point of view may be coming from her own limitations and unwillingness to face certain truths of reality.

"She" has a very subtle way of taking this moral high ground place of superiority were she sits passing judgment on the fallible ones like myself seemingly because she watches Oprah, does yoga, drives a hybrid mini-van, recycles and has a toddler in private school. Or maybe it's just because she goes to church on Sundays.

I don’t peddle my Scientology/Jesus, just Love/Ignore and everything is right in the world diatribe. Well, perhaps that would be because I’m jewish and I tend to say what’s on my mind although not so much these days. Or maybe even, it’s just not my way.

However, I never judged her when she had a child out of wedlock let alone two. Despite the very strong opinions that I have I never once told her that I agreed with her mother. Although for her sake, I'm happy it all appears to have worked out.

At least I care enough to make an attempt at understanding. Which is more than I can say from someone that I thought was my friend.

Still, somewhere in my heart after our conversation today, I felt that she might have had a point.
Then again, I do try too hard... Sometimes.



The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

A Day With Roxxie

Roxxanna reminds me of a little bear

Funny... I usually like bears

Le Chat

Il y a une fois un chat qui me suis

et il aime quand je lui dis oui

Mais ça me fait mal parce ce que

quand je lui dis oui, il fait le pipi

Ah...la tristesse que je sens tout le temps.

Alors! Je lui dis si!

J'ai découvert qu'il est un chat espagnol.

GI/CC

It's Not Personal

The common and convenient catch phrase of the "Haves" ( those in a position of having power however minute) at my job seems to be..."Oh, it's not personal... Don't take it personally".

Yeah, but when people are fuckin' with your Franklins --What can be more personal?

Besides, it's only your livelihood.

No, it's not personal. It's just plain wrong.

Myspace and "Me"

There have been a few people that wanted to meet me from myspace and they wondered which picture in my profile was mine. No big deal, I love meeting new people especially fellow artists.

I never cared to label my picture as "Me" because... I'm not sure why... although maybe it was because deep down inside I was afraid of being rejected.

With my writing especially I want people to grasps the content of who I am as a person through my mind and not to care what I look like.

When I informed my inquirers as to which I was, they most all mysteriously went away. Which is strange that they seemed to find me more interesting before they knew what I looked like or so it appeared. They were all men; Not to male bash but what am I to think?

I don't know why but I seem to scare people. I always have and perhaps always will. Perhaps scare is too strong of a word... I don't put people at ease and for some strange reason.

Looking at it this way does gives me a bit of solace..."these people probably did me a favor because if you're afraid from just my picture then be very afraid". Besides that I absolutely abhor cowards.

I'm tall, opinionated--I've been told sadly since I was a little girl that I was intimidating. Playing stupid and small so people would like me better and to put them more at ease didn't make me the successful, most well liked person that I thought that it would. It was at near detriment to myself esteem, so I stopped. Although I think it did make me a better actress, definitely I'm a stronger person because of it. I drive a muscle car and in addition to that I'm with the wonderful Mick Dixon anyway.

I'm a really cool person who's worth knowing but it still hurts. It's a slow burn of a hurt that really bugs me deep down inside.

Life is funny...
It has a way of ultimately bring us to the thing we are most trying to avoid.
It's that way for me, anyway.

Beauty is so much more than skin deep.

--Like the phoenix from the flame I shall rise again with a new skin.

"Another Pallywood Production"

Pallywood: Definition- refers to the staging of scenes by Palestinian journalists in order to present the Palestinians as hapless victims of Israeli aggression. Often times using equipment from Western news agencies, and that the resulting footage is sent on to those agencies for international consumption.

Cecilem Bibbi Hezbollah "I want tight close ups on all injured women and children.

Rolling Sound--Action!"

A Little Help From A Friend

This is an email that I received from one of our loyal readers that never leaves comments but who doesn't hesitate to ask us for help.

Oh hell, we love you anyway.

I get a little touchy when it comes to people in the service industry not being treated right because without them we'd all be in a cafeteria queue.

Hi Elbib,

I really enjoy your blog and I'm happy to see
that you went off and did your own thing successfully.
> I was wondering if you could do a fave: I encountered a
> > disturbing add on craigslist LA
> http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ret/138397854.html.
> A lot of us are out here in LA doing our thing and
> > unfortunately slinging drinks and serving food in the meantime. The last thing we need is a bunch of
> little narc bitches coming in and fucking with our jobs.
> Can you light these people up with a little phone/email traffic?? You are a public service god/goddess!!!!
> > Thank you
> >
> > Address:
> > EyeSpy Critiquing and Consulting
> > 15466 Los Gatos Suite 109
> > Los Gatos, CA 95032
> > Phone:
> > 888.339.3779 / 408.292.1612
> > Fax:
> > 408.295.4627
> > E-mail:
> > info@theeyespy.com
> > Tech Support: techsupport@theeyespy.com
> >

My Darling Theyskens

Theyskens, the darling of fashion forward stylists and a certain sort of retailer, was one of 30 Rochas staff informed last week that they would be getting pink slips.

Oh, I know; How awful... and just to think the news came as a major surprise given that this spring Theyskens, 29, was awarded International Designer of the Year by the CFDA, American fashion's governing body.

However, after several years of losses, Procter and Gamble pulled the plug on Rochas despite all the critical kudos. P and G, which will continue producing the Rochas fragrances it inherited when it acquired Wella's beauty portfolio in 2003, clearly does not consider fashion an essential area for growth.

"After four years of support, Procter and Gamble plans to stop its investment… in this company which is not part of our core business," P and G said in a statement. Yeah, what do they know, they sell toilet paper.

Rochas hired Theyskens as artistic director in November 2001. The designer with the Gothic looks first gained recognition for the outfit he designed for Madonna for the 1998 Oscars.

Theyskens was briefly courted by LVMH boss Bernard Arnault for the position of couturier at Givenchy, a job that eventually went to Julien Macdonald.

"Olivier Theyskens is now free to do whatever he wants. There is no restriction on him relaunching his own label," a P and G spokesman told FWD.

On joining Rochas, Theyskens stopped his eponymous collection amid reports of tension between the designer and his backer, Belgian lawyer Isabelle Stevens.

Speculation in Paris is that Theyskens will reignite his own label, though whether it is with Stevens remains to be seen.

Stevens, who held a majority interest in Theyskens name, did not return calls to her offices in Belgium and San Marino. Theyskens was unavailable for comment.

P and G inherited the Rochas fashion and fragrance divisions in its $6.9 billion acquisition of Wella's portfolio, which also included the Anna Sui, Montblanc, Escada and Gucci fragrances, though Rochas was the sole fashion holding.

The multinational stressed that, looking ahead, it would consider possible other solutions for Rochas, and underlined that it would continue Rochas licensing business. P and G apparently offered as a license the Rochas fashion business, but was greeted only by requests to buy both the Rochas fashion and fragrance brands together.

Moreover, recent history is littered with fashion houses unsuccessfully managed by far bigger beauty companies. L'Oreal sold off its Lanvin fashion holding and Groupe Clarins reined in the Thierry Mugler fashion brand even as its scents sales boomed.

Closing down even a medium-sized business takes several months under French labor law and the Rochas fashion division won't be fully closed until October.

Retailers expect Rochas fall/winter ready-to-wear collection to be shipped, and are holding out hope that Theyskens' last ideas for Rochas would become collectors' items.

Theyskens' shows for Rochas were consistently packed out events during Paris fashion week. When he joined Rochas four years ago, he was already a critically acclaimed young designer with a distinctive voice.

However, the failure of Theyskens and Rochas to build a substantial accessories business for ultimately doomed a business better known for wildly expensive gowns that reached as high as $35,000 at retail.

You're telling me- I couldn't never get a pair of shoes that were my size or that fit right. Well, maybe next time, Olivier.
Best wishes for the future.