Monday, July 31, 2006

My Darling Theyskens


Theyskens, the darling of fashion forward stylists and a certain sort of retailer, was one of 30 Rochas staff informed last week that they would be getting pink slips.

Oh, I know; How awful... and just to think the news came as a major surprise given that this spring Theyskens, 29, was awarded International Designer of the Year by the CFDA, American fashion's governing body.

However, after several years of losses, Procter and Gamble pulled the plug on Rochas despite all the critical kudos. P and G, which will continue producing the Rochas fragrances it inherited when it acquired Wella's beauty portfolio in 2003, clearly does not consider fashion an essential area for growth.

"After four years of support, Procter and Gamble plans to stop its investment… in this company which is not part of our core business," P and G said in a statement. Yeah, what do they know, they sell toilet paper.

Rochas hired Theyskens as artistic director in November 2001. The designer with the Gothic looks first gained recognition for the outfit he designed for Madonna for the 1998 Oscars.

Theyskens was briefly courted by LVMH boss Bernard Arnault for the position of couturier at Givenchy, a job that eventually went to Julien Macdonald.

"Olivier Theyskens is now free to do whatever he wants. There is no restriction on him relaunching his own label," a P and G spokesman told FWD.

On joining Rochas, Theyskens stopped his eponymous collection amid reports of tension between the designer and his backer, Belgian lawyer Isabelle Stevens.

Speculation in Paris is that Theyskens will reignite his own label, though whether it is with Stevens remains to be seen.

Stevens, who held a majority interest in Theyskens name, did not return calls to her offices in Belgium and San Marino. Theyskens was unavailable for comment.

P and G inherited the Rochas fashion and fragrance divisions in its $6.9 billion acquisition of Wella's portfolio, which also included the Anna Sui, Montblanc, Escada and Gucci fragrances, though Rochas was the sole fashion holding.

The multinational stressed that, looking ahead, it would consider possible other solutions for Rochas, and underlined that it would continue Rochas licensing business. P and G apparently offered as a license the Rochas fashion business, but was greeted only by requests to buy both the Rochas fashion and fragrance brands together.

Moreover, recent history is littered with fashion houses unsuccessfully managed by far bigger beauty companies. L'Oreal sold off its Lanvin fashion holding and Groupe Clarins reined in the Thierry Mugler fashion brand even as its scents sales boomed.

Closing down even a medium-sized business takes several months under French labor law and the Rochas fashion division won't be fully closed until October.

Retailers expect Rochas fall/winter ready-to-wear collection to be shipped, and are holding out hope that Theyskens' last ideas for Rochas would become collectors' items.

Theyskens' shows for Rochas were consistently packed out events during Paris fashion week. When he joined Rochas four years ago, he was already a critically acclaimed young designer with a distinctive voice.

However, the failure of Theyskens and Rochas to build a substantial accessories business for ultimately doomed a business better known for wildly expensive gowns that reached as high as $35,000 at retail.

You're telling me- I couldn't never get a pair of shoes that were my size or that fit right. Well, maybe next time, Olivier.
Best wishes for the future.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Tales From The Dark Side Of Entourage


Can you say...OVER IT! Well, at least we wrapped early. People really should be nicer to poor Naomi because I nearly shoved and slapped someone myself.

"Damn, where did I put my Blackberry?"

Who am I kidding?..."SOMEONE"..."There were several people."

And please, "Ladies", please wear at least a thong with your $44.00 tissue thin party dresses from Image. Yes, I'm especially talking to you, "Miss Saved Pussy, Nicole Kidman Wannabe" from "Down Under". If, your accent was in fact, real.

Yes, this is Hollywood; where everything goes but that was obscene.

Goodness, that set was like The Beverly Center exploded after a crystal meth fire and only the well seasoned crack whores survived because they had an exit strategy, besides from them being the ones that set it in the first place.

I'm not violent, really...I'm not...I'm honest, as well as depressed.

Where have all of the fabulous people gone and why are my dreams always smashed by the horrible reality of it all.

Wow, that was a very Carrie Bradshaw statement.

I smell Aussie twat.

Yew hew, ooh...Wardrobe Mistress!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Perspective



I've been dying for validation from a career that doesn't seem to want me as much as I want it.

First it was one and then another.

What have you been dying for?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

In Memoriam Of A Former Self



I've been known to hold a grudge. I don't know why. It's not that I purposely do it but things, especially negative things have a way of resting with me. It's sad because I've found that I have the ability to hate other human beings. Something, I didn't know was possible. I've always tried to be a loving, understanding and kind person but I've never quite felt as strongly about people or situations as I do now.

Perhaps, it's getting older maybe it's just knowing more but over the last few days I've been thinking of a certain situation that happened last week. Oddly enough on my birthday: a hell of a day to learn compassion and how to cry for others.

So here I am, ten minutes and a blog draft ago, find myself making a mental list of sorts and thinking... "Wow, I really fucking hate Joan... 2) for two years I have abhorred but tolerated Jamie Lynn (her very name should provide some insight, well no it doesn't... However, saying "Trailer Park" does). Plus it bothers the hell out of her that I have never seen one. 3) and as of late... I'm not too crazy about Keifer." Actually, I'm feeling a little sorry for the latter.

Oh hell, I feel sorry for Joan too. Her very handsome 32 year old son, the "not so" recovering addict but "Manic Depressive" as she calls his affliction (or anyone who doesn't agree with her, for that matter), has lost another job and she wonders why he's such a scrub. He's just had a second child ( a little girl ), when he neglects emotionally and financially his three year old son.

Joan, doesn't understand that all that he is or is not, is in a great part because of her. She's told him all of his life that as a black man he will never get ahead nor have anything of value, he will always be considered less than because of his skin color and that it's a "white man's world" and that his place in it will always be one of oppression. She has filled his head with the same old blah, blah, stereotypical bullshit that has plagued the belief system of blacks for years. Who can win with those odds but somehow, someway he is to champion the opponent and win the race. It's sad that somehow she thinks that's love.

And if that isn't bad enough she doesn't read well. She's nearly 60, perhaps older. I can't keep up anymore. She's already celebrated her 57th birthday a few times since I've known her. She says it's her eyes but I'm starting to suspect otherwise. I'm guessing that she probably has a sixth grade education at best. I might add, from Jamaica. Just the thought of the Jamaican school system with upwards of 50 students to a class makes me cringe. Her only saving grace is that she married well. I guess the second time was a charm.

Knowing all of that or at least being aware of the bigger picture only makes it worse for me because I still can't find it in my heart to forgive her.

It makes me wonder, what kind of beast am I? Has my once seemingly overflowing well of benevolence run dry?

I don't know...But one thing's for sure...

I fucking hate ignorant people and I especially hate ignorant people that tell me what I can't accomplish because of my national origin or skin color. I loath, people who judge me or think they know me or others because of it. I might add somewhere in there that these people will often give their opinion without it, being solicited.

People who make sweeping statements suck ass. BIG TIME!


G-d grant me the serenity...

I am no longer a prisoner of my past—past regrets, earlier traumas, pain and suffering.

I believe in miracles and a joy-filled future.

I believe in myself.

I gain the courage to let go!

I let go.

Of everything.

Period.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Snap Attack


Kate Moss is back and apparently kicking asses and taking names.
Of the paparazzi that is...

Oh My G-D, I Think I Scared Her




For those of you who know me, you know that I have been for sometime looking for an editor for my novel. I stumbled across, Jennifer Garrett Who Writes For A Living and who also to some extent works for Blogger. She is a self-professed "Complete Anal-Pile" when it comes to the written word. She stresses punctuation, punctuation, punctuation. So much so that supposably, she polices blogs by emailing the blogger about their bad grammar, punctuation and so-forth.

I recently e-mailed her. Not about her grammar police tactics but because I need an editor. Needless to say, I haven't heard back-from her which might be a good thing because personally, I didn't find her writing that, interesting or exciting.

I must say that I like reading blogs that aren't grammatically perfect and have too many ellipses. At least you have something interesting to say. Which is more than important than having nothing to say but saying it grammatically perfect. To all my blogging brethren... Keep using your ellipses, never be boring and remember that those who can "Do" those who "Can't" criticize.

And if you get an email telling you of your misuse of the english language invite them to kiss your... "Dita Von Teese is fabulous".

And with out further ado my email to Ms. Garrett.

Hi Jennifer,

First, I'd like to say that I am very intimidated by writing to you because I know that my grammar is being torn apart from the seams as your eyes glide across this email.

But, oh well. At least I didn't use ellipses. Whew.

My question is how can writers find their voices if we get hung up on correct punctuation? How can we correctly use punctuation to express sudden changes in thought, to contradict ourselves if and when we are writing stream of consciousness stuff?

I too have a grade school writing experience that was the antithesis of yours. Unlike, you I didn't win my writing contest. I was traumatized by my 3rd Grade teacher Mrs. Pounds’ blaring red pen across all of my words. There were so many mistakes on that piece of paper. It’s a wonder I didn't get a failing grade. I got a B- because she liked what I wrote.

It may sound silly but that stopped me from writing for a long time which I always enjoyed doing. It was probably because I was perplexed by the countless red marks and having written an enjoyable story and not doing it correctly. Now when I write I get so caught up in the punctuation that it's painful and I forget what it is that I’m trying to say.

Blogging breathed new life into me. I try to be a responsible blogger watching both my grammar and punctuation but if I followed all the rules then how am I expressing myself? Where does it all end and a voice and one’s story begin? I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. I like your writing style. I’m still mulling over mine.

Thanks for your time,

G.G.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Bitch Is Back



Okay, after a short, by short I mean a 27 hr, much needed respite from a certain said "purple shirt", I'm feeling a little bit better. Or am I really? Perhaps, my Alexander McQueen Scarf tied nicely in a bow around my neck ( It's actually two scarves but who's counting... I like big bows ) and my most favorite pair of Helmut Lang boots have only been a temporary salve for the mal-contentful rage against mankind or at least one restaurant in Beverly Hills. I'M F@*KING FABULOUS and my tibia hurts! Why G-D! Why!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Friday, May 05, 2006

Photo Opportunity




Oh, goodness don't get me started again... But why, oh why in G-d's name is he carrying a Mexican flag?

After the shit, Ryan Gosling pulled with me at the Four Seasons I had my doubts about his intelligence level and I seriously questioned this seemingly desperate need of his to identify with certain ethnic groups. It has now passed the point of scary.

Perhaps at some deep level he feels that he lacks a culture of his own. I dunno know, but Rachel McAdams... I now see that I gave her too much credit. See My blog entitled Beached Whale Anyone? ( In the February archives )

Well, onward with my rant!

They both should be grateful that they are in this country and that
they are able to do what the do and are making great money to
boot because American movie fans have made them popular.

I know lots of talented and highly trained American actors who can't catch a break or get a decent agent for that matter and would love the opportunity to do, what they do but Nooooo...

Rachel and Ryan are very lucky, blessed, even.

If they feel so strongly against immigration reform then, Gooooo...

Don't make me say it, "People".

By the way, what's Canada's policies on immigration?

What people don't know is that immigration policies are far more
strict in other countries than here. Sorry, but it's time for reform.

Besides, Americans are not afforded the same luxuries in other
countries that immigrants are given here.

Working in America is not something that foreigners are entitled
to. It is a privilege.

Will, somebody "please" tell Russell Crow that the next time he has, a "little rage fit" and wants to knock someone in the head with a phone, he should be dragged out in chains, put on the next plane to New Zealand and never be allowed to work here again. Assault is after-all a felony.

For the illegals put the time in, do it legally and earn it.

Rachel and What's-his-face should sit their asses down and Say Thanks America!

Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Perhaps, if some people suffered a little more for their craft, they'd know the meaning of gratitude.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Supercilious

glitter graphics

If someone gives you something it means that they have taken the time to think of you. It seems that some people in LA are thought of too often even if they are the ones thinking of themselves.
"It's the thought that counts"...I see, "works two ways."
Self-importance is such a nasty little condition.

A word of wisdom to the vainglory foolhardy...Today's nobody is tomorrow's Oscar winning somebody that could give you a job.
Just say thank you.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Moliere



Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.

-- Moliere


Ok, I've already written something for a few people. Close friends? Yeeeaaah maaybe, not really. Well, I don't know.

Oh, who am I kidding.

I'm a writer whore or at least that's what I aspire to be for the moment.

A Big Phat Writer Whore! There's always something else to buy.

What's This About Again?





ref·u·gee n. One who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppression, or religious persecution.

im·mi·grant n. A person who leaves one country to settle permanently in another.

Clearly, not the same word nor definition.

slave n. A person held in servitude as the chattel of another.

A word altogether different from the above mentioned.


Don't talk to me about immigration protests. Please!

I am being held hostage in my own city and I am about to lose it.

Okay, for those of you who know me..."Yes, I'm held up in my huge loft with ridiculously high ceilings and beautiful white walls with my chihuahuas but I'm still suffering."

"People" give me a reason to support you and perhaps I will. But remember that the very freedoms we all enjoy were paid for us in blood, sweat and a whole river of tears by generations past. So put down the Mexican banderas and pick up an American flag and be happy that you're here. And for goodness sakes leave Che Guevara out of this! Is it a Revolution, you want? What then? Who is oppressing you? Do You Know? Is this worse than your country? And if so how?

I may have to agree with the "You Know Who" on this one but "Sorry Kids" to the end of the line you'll have to go. If that doesn't suit you then leaving is always an option.

Oooo, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!

But at least that is an option for you. Unlike many Black- Americans ancestors' who were stolen from their homelands in Africa and brought here on boats and were traded and sold as live goods. And that's putting it lightly.

All I can say is that if this is still going on, by May 11th when Christian Louboutin will be at Barney's New York doing custom designs on his canvas platform espadrilles and if I have a difficult time getting to Barney's and G-D forbid, I miss him.
I am Going To Throw A Full ON SHIT FIT Like The World Has Never Seen!

In parting, I will leave you with a Civil Rights Time- Line. And in reading it, please remember the Irish, Italians, Japanese, Chinese, and the countless others who also have put in the time to make this country great.

If there is a group that should be marching it should be the Native Americans. Need I mention that it was their land in the first place. America is their home and immigrants now have it far better than them.

Now, what's this about want again?

One Last thing, click the link and find out what Mis Hermanos Y Hermanas ( mi gente verdad) , Los Cubanos think about this same issue. If you haven't guessed it by now, I am Cuban American or an American of Cuban decent if you prefer not just another black chick as I've been referred to as being. Oh, the dismal abyss of ignorance.

F.Y.I. Cubans were put in Detention Centers while they waited for their immigration affairs to be sorted out.

Muy interesante pero al fin, VIVA Los Estados Unidos! ( Long! Live ! AMERICA! ) ... with all my heart I love this country, the people just Suck sometimes.


Civil Rights Timeline
Milestones In The Modern Civil Rights Movement
by Borgna Brunner and Elissa Haney


1954

May 17
The Supreme Court rules on the landmark case Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kans., unanimously agreeing that segregation in public schools is unconstitutional. The ruling paves the way for large-scale desegregation. The decision overturns the 1896 Plessy v. Ferguson ruling that sanctioned "separate but equal" segregation of the races, ruling that "separate educational facilities are inherently unequal." It is a victory for NAACP attorney Thurgood Marshall, who will later return to the Supreme Court as the nation's first black justice.

1955

Aug.
Fourteen-year-old Chicagoan Emmett Till is visiting family in Mississippi when he is kidnapped, brutally beaten, shot, and dumped in the Tallahatchie River for allegedly whistling at a white woman. Two white men, J. W. Milam and Roy Bryant, are arrested for the murder and acquitted by an all-white jury. They later boast about committing the murder in a Look magazine interview. The case becomes a cause célèbre of the civil rights movement.

Dec. 1
(Montgomery, Ala.) NAACP member Rosa Parks refuses to give up her seat at the front of the "colored section" of a bus to a white passenger, defying a southern custom of the time. In response to her arrest the Montgomery black community launches a bus boycott, which will last for more than a year, until the buses are desegregated Dec. 21, 1956. As newly elected president of the Montgomery Improvement Association (MIA), Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., is instrumental in leading the boycott.

1957
Jan.–Feb.
Martin Luther King, Charles K. Steele, and Fred L. Shuttlesworth establish the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, of which King is made the first president. The SCLC becomes a major force in organizing the civil rights movement and bases its principles on nonviolence and civil disobedience. According to King, it is essential that the civil rights movement not sink to the level of the racists and hatemongers who oppose them: "We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline," he urges.



Sept.
(Little Rock, Ark.) Formerly all-white Central High School learns that integration is easier said than done. Nine black students are blocked from entering the school on the orders of Governor Orval Faubus. President Eisenhower sends federal troops and the National Guard to intervene on behalf of the students, who become known as the "Little Rock Nine."
1960

Feb. 1
(Greensboro, N.C.) Four black students from North Carolina Agricultural and Technical College begin a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth's lunch counter. Although they are refused service, they are allowed to stay at the counter. The event triggers many similar nonviolent protests throughout the South. Six months later the original four protesters are served lunch at the same Woolworth's counter. Student sit-ins would be effective throughout the Deep South in integrating parks, swimming pools, theaters, libraries, and other public facilities.


April
(Raleigh, N.C.) The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) is founded at Shaw University, providing young blacks with a place in the civil rights movement. The SNCC later grows into a more radical organization, especially under the leadership of Stokely Carmichael (1966–1967).

1961

May 4
The Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) begins sending student volunteers on bus trips to test the implementation of new laws prohibiting segregation in interstate travel facilities. One of the first two groups of "freedom riders," as they are called, encounters its first problem two weeks later, when a mob in Alabama sets the riders' bus on fire. The program continues, and by the end of the summer 1,000 volunteers, black and white, have participated.

Oct. 1
James Meredith becomes the first black student to enroll at the University of Mississippi. Violence and riots surrounding the incident cause President Kennedy to send 5,000 federal troops.

1963

April 16
Martin Luther King is arrested and jailed during anti-segregation protests in Birmingham, Ala.; he writes his seminal "Letter from Birmingham Jail," arguing that individuals have the moral duty to disobey unjust laws.


May
During civil rights protests in Birmingham, Ala., Commissioner of Public Safety Eugene "Bull" Connor uses fire hoses and police dogs on black demonstrators. These images of brutality, which are televised and published widely, are instrumental in gaining sympathy for the civil rights movement around the world.


June 12
(Jackson, Miss.) Mississippi's NAACP field secretary, 37-year-old Medgar Evers, is murdered outside his home. Byron De La Beckwith is tried twice in 1964, both trials resulting in hung juries. Thirty years later he is convicted for murdering Evers.



Aug. 28
(Washington, D.C.) About 200,000 people join the March on Washington. Congregating at the Lincoln Memorial, participants listen as Martin Luther King delivers his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.


Sept. 15
(Birmingham, Ala.) Four young girls (Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson, and Addie Mae Collins) attending Sunday school are killed when a bomb explodes at the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church, a popular location for civil rights meetings. Riots erupt in Birmingham, leading to the deaths of two more black youths.

1964

Jan. 23
The 24th Amendment abolishes the poll tax, which originally had been instituted in 11 southern states after Reconstruction to make it difficult for poor blacks to vote.


Summer
The Council of Federated Organizations (COFO), a network of civil rights groups that includes CORE and SNCC, launches a massive effort to register black voters during what becomes known as the Freedom Summer. It also sends delegates to the Democratic National Convention to protest—and attempt to unseat—the official all-white Mississippi contingent.


July 2
President Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The most sweeping civil rights legislation since Reconstruction, the Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination of all kinds based on race, color, religion, or national origin. The law also provides the federal government with the powers to enforce desegregation.



Aug. 4
(Neshoba Country, Miss.) The bodies of three civil-rights workers—two white, one black—are found in an earthen dam, six weeks into a federal investigation backed by President Johnson. James E. Chaney, 21; Andrew Goodman, 21; and Michael Schwerner, 24, had been working to register black voters in Mississippi, and, on June 21, had gone to investigate the burning of a black church. They were arrested by the police on speeding charges, incarcerated for several hours, and then released after dark into the hands of the Ku Klux Klan, who murdered them.

1965

Feb. 21
(Harlem, N.Y.) Malcolm X, black nationalist and founder of the Organization of Afro-American Unity, is shot to death. It is believed the assailants are members of the Black Muslim faith, which Malcolm had recently abandoned in favor of orthodox Islam.


March 7
(Selma, Ala.) Blacks begin a march to Montgomery in support of voting rights but are stopped at the Pettus Bridge by a police blockade. Fifty marchers are hospitalized after police use tear gas, whips, and clubs against them. The incident is dubbed "Bloody Sunday" by the media. The march is considered the catalyst for pushing through the voting rights act five months later.


Aug. 10
Congress passes the Voting Rights Act of 1965, making it easier for Southern blacks to register to vote. Literacy tests, poll taxes, and other such requirements that were used to restrict black voting are made illegal.


Aug. 11–17, 1965
(Watts, Calif.) Race riots erupt in a black section of Los Angeles.


Sept. 24, 1965
Asserting that civil rights laws alone are not enough to remedy discrimination, President Johnson issues Executive Order 11246, which enforces affirmative action for the first time. It requires government contractors to "take affirmative action"

1966

Oct.
(Oakland, Calif.) The militant Black Panthers are founded by Huey Newton and Bobby Seale.

1967
April 19
Stokely Carmichael, a leader of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), coins the phrase "black power" in a speech in Seattle. He defines it as an assertion of black pride and "the coming together of black people to fight for their liberation by any means necessary." The term's radicalism alarms many who believe the civil rights movement's effectiveness and moral authority crucially depend on nonviolent civil disobedience.


June 12
In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court rules that prohibiting interracial marriage is unconstitutional. Sixteen states that still banned interracial marriage at the time are forced to revise their laws.


July
Major race riots take place in Newark (July 12–16) and Detroit (July 23–30).

1968
April 4
(Memphis, Tenn.) Martin Luther King, at age 39, is shot as he stands on the balcony outside his hotel room. Escaped convict and committed racist James Earl Ray is convicted of the crime.

April 11
President Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, prohibiting discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of housing.

1971

April 20
The Supreme Court, in Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education, upholds busing as a legitimate means for achieving integration of public schools. Although largely unwelcome (and sometimes violently opposed) in local school districts, court-ordered busing plans in cities such as Charlotte, Boston, and Denver continue until the late 1990s.

1988

March 22
Overriding President Reagan's veto, Congress passes the Civil Rights Restoration Act, which expands the reach of non-discrimination laws within private institutions receiving federal funds.

1991

Nov. 22
After two years of debates, vetoes, and threatened vetoes, President Bush reverses himself and signs the Civil Rights Act of 1991, strengthening existing civil rights laws and providing for damages in cases of intentional employment discrimination.

1992

April 29
(Los Angeles, Calif.) The first race riots in decades erupt in south-central Los Angeles after a jury acquits four white police officers for the videotaped beating of African American Rodney King.

2003

June 23
In the most important affirmative action decision since the 1978 Bakke case, the Supreme Court (5–4) upholds the University of Michigan Law School's policy, ruling that race can be one of many factors considered by colleges when selecting their students because it furthers "a compelling interest in obtaining the educational benefits that flow from a diverse student body."

2005

June 21
The ringleader of the Mississippi civil rights murders (see Aug. 4, 1964), Edgar Ray Killen, is convicted of manslaughter on the 41st anniversary of the crimes.


NOW THAT'S A LONG TIME!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Advice...an excerpt




























(Disarming and sweetly speaking)

Thanks. The coffee's great. Sumatra.

Oh, Kenya... hmmm, tastes like Sumatra.

Well, I think it's adorable the way he looks at you with those big brown longing puppy dog eyes. If he had a tail he'd be wagging it for sure. He breathes a sigh of devotion for you at the very mention of your name. It's so courageous, valiant even the way he confesses his unrequited love for you.

Why not give him a chance?

After-all, you're forty four. Excuse me 40-something and truthfully, I don't see a line in front of your door.

Oh there's the cat.

I know how it must feel being his second choice and all. He's shorter than you and he has a baby; he might be married...(rolling eyes back in thought) hummn.

Look at it this way...He's a man, he's cute ( he likes his car a bit to much for my taste), he has a job with benefits and he's interested in you.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

No Love















You can't appreciate me, my beauty or my intellect.
You only see what you want to see and that is a second-class no body
who's no better than you.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Isn't It Lovely


Just in time for Passover and the Easter Holiday "Tom Cruise Tosses The Shackles Of Hollywood Oppression" and he coming to get us all, the non-scientologists of course. Let's all watch as he screams and runs ( he like to run) on about Katie, psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and more...
Tom's a sick puppy. Let's poke him with a stick.

Monday, April 10, 2006

On Occasion

glitter graphics

Sometimes...I just get so frustrated.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The Freaks Come Out At Nite















Yesterday night I bore witness to a nasty and unsettling event at a restaurant were a food-server was verbally abused and shoved by a very ugly and very skinny woman with big bulging eyes, stringy dark hair, bad pale leather skin and dingy teeth with a horrible underbite. The woman wore a cheap strapless flower print dress, with gold plastic strappy shoes and had a bad fake tit job that coincidentally was like her bad fake Chanel purse in quality which may have been a great part of her rageful angst.

This Bone Of A Dog really thought she was soooooo sexy, hot and good-looking or perhaps she was just pretending. Her father probably told her that she was the best thing since sliced bread all of her life but sadly no one else ever did nor will because "Fabulous Is As Fabulous Does And Always Will" as "The fashion Rabbi" says. Tragically, It was latter reveled that the Jerky Tartlet had an eating disorder.

"Ladies" I can't stress this enough... but before I get to it, I want to let you know that I do feel greatly for those of you with this problem... I really do but... what you chose to tickle with your finger wether it be your twat or the back of your throat is really your own private affair and really should be kept in the bedroom, bathroom or psychiatrist's office.

It shouldn't be brought to the restaurant on Friday night albeit even if it is for a family function.

"Ladies" and if your dirty little secret is known by the rest of your family, "Change Your MO".

It's really sad when your mother has to announce to everyone at the table and to the entire restaurant what your mental state of being is because she is trying to save face from your embarrassing tirade that you seem to do every time you have to eat in public about the server being stupid and not getting your order right and giving you bad service.

"Skinny Rabbit" if you change your order an average of 7 times and only 3 courses are being served, 2 of the 3 courses are a choice of 2 items, neither of which you want, something is bound to come out wrong.

Do the math because "Tricks Really Are For Kids".

You Don't Want To Eat So You Blame The Person Serving You The Food.

What happened to the good ole' days were if you had to eat in public you'd take a whole sheet of ex-lax and afterwards you'd let'er rip?

Eating disorders are so passe I had a few back-in the 90's myself before they became so dunno... LaLohan.

...And if you're nearly 50 as Bone-A -Linga looked shouldn't you be past that anyway?

I have nothing against 50 year-olds.

Pills are in now. CLUE PHONE for Bone-A-Whatsgonewrongnow... Take one!

I'll part leaving you with this word quandary... if Bone-A-Linga's a Stupid Bitch then what would you call a late 40-something, wire mouth piece of... ( I'm watching my mouth Rabbi )...who makes sweeping statements about ... well... let just say all G-d's creatures ?

Okay a little more info...Bumpkin's favorite pastime is watching the Tele.

Aaaaaaahhhhh, the power of words.

Monday, April 03, 2006

About Me...


I was recently asked by a strange, unattractive man who I was...After I threw my champagne in his face (it was corked anyway) and The Fashion Rabbi gave him a swift kick, that got me to thinking.

Who am I...really? This is what I came up with...



ALL ABOUT ME
Name:Elbib Dratsab
Birthday:May 19
Birthplace:Hemmingway's favorite place
Current Location:Los Angeles
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Lately Auburn and not sure how I feel about it
Height:5' 10"
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right
Your Heritage:Cuban/ French Moroccan/ Turkish
The Shoes You Wore Today:A pair of Lanvin flats
Your Weakness:Laziness
Your Fears:Failure, dying penniless and alone
Your Perfect Pizza:Crispy crust,spinach, lots of garlic and soy cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Finish my screenplay, start shooting it and rewrite my novel
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:I Love You
Thoughts First Waking Up:Uggggh...
Your Best Physical Feature:My eyes
Your Bedtime:Around 2am
Your Most Missed Memory:I don't dream as much as I used too
Pepsi or Coke:Diet
MacDonalds or Burger King:Neither
Single or Group Dates:Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Le Palais Des Thes
Chocolate or Vanilla:Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:Espresso
Do you Smoke:I have asthma
Do you Swear:In four languages
Do you Sing:I can prepare a song
Do you Shower Daily:I can't remember...
Have you Been in Love:Yes
Do you want to go to College:Been there done that...
Do you want to get Married:Yes
Do you belive in yourself:Not always
Do you get Motion Sickness:Sometimes when a certain someone is driving...Mickhuda Berg
Do you think you are Attractive:Yes
Are you a Health Freak:No
Do you get along with your Parents:Sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:I hate them
Do you play an Instrument:Yes, The Cowbell, I own A Horachio Hernadez
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Champagne...Of Course...
In the past month have you Smoked:No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:I wish...
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:Everyday, I live in LA
In the past month have you been Dumped:My chihuahua often ignores me
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:I like to pee in the water
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Yes a book. Oh no, that was last month. Sorry.
Ever been Drunk:Unfortunatly
Ever been called a Tease:I've been called vain
Ever been Beaten up:I've had my ass handed to me more times than I'd like to admit
Ever Shoplifted:Yes
How do you want to Die:Not in my car
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A person who is financially comfortable
What country would you most like to Visit:Israel
Number of Drugs I have taken:Three
Number of CDs I own:Many
Number of Piercings:Two
Number of Tattoos:One
Number of things in my Past I Regret:I regret nothing

Friday, March 31, 2006

O-NO...




I made the prediction early on when J-Lo was in Italy at the Dolce & Gabanna Fall 2006 Ready-To-Wear Show last month in Milan. It's was like I could look at her and tell what was on her mind. I knew it was going to happen and so it has..

Miss Cleo Calling!




The Sophia Loren/ Jennifer Lopez comparison.

Jennifer Lopez will never be like Sophia Loren, that would take sophistication and for one to be unassuming. Traits Ms. Lopez is defiantly lacking.

I really wish she would take those darned elocution lessons like I suggested because her speech is less than desirable and she keeps talking because someone must have told her that she was smart. Ahhhhhaww... It must have been P-What's His Name Now.

Oh, But Don't Fret My JLo Pet "The Fashion Rab" Can Squeeze You In For A Lesson.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Oops She Did It Again...



Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested at her Park Avenue home today and charged with assaulting her housekeeper with a cell phone, New York City police said.


Campbell, who was later released, could face up to seven years in prison after she was charged with second degree assault for throwing a cell phone at housekeeper Ana Scolavino. Police said it struck her on the back of the head and opened a cut that needed four staples. Ouch!


What I want to know is... Did The housekeeper steal the jeans that Naomi accused her of taking (Naomi wanted to wear them on the Oprah show ) and if so, did they fit and was it worth it?